Body horror part 2

Body horror part 2

So there i was ...lying on the doctors couch...lower body exposed...waiting to feel the sword of democles cone crasinug down upon my neck. In reality it was not a sword but a long needle which appeared in the doctors habds. He was pretty sure it wasn't anything "sinister" but any relief at that news was soon tempered by the slowly dawning the knowledge that he was about to stick the afore said needle into my scrotum. He suspected a water cyst...which i'dnever heard of ....but after a couple of excruciating probes with the needle (in a futile attempt to drain some fluid away) it became clear that there was nothing to drain. After quite a bit of deliberation i remembered that some time ago i'd reported a strange feeling just above the groin and had been diagnosed with a small hernia...said small hernia had it seemed become a large hernia and instead the bowel pushing out had instead decided to go downwards into the scrotum...hence the swelling and discomfort. An ultra sound a month later confirmed that this was indeed the case and i now await an appointment with a surgeon in a few weeks...we will take it from there. 

And here we are. I must confess to feeling an odd mix of things on the wake of all this. Firstly embarrassment at foolishly not having the affliction investigated before now. As it turns out such hernias are very common...i've since spoken to at least six people known to me with the same exact ailment. It's unfortunate if not had a conversation with even one of them prior to this...but then it never occurred to me that what i had was anything as mundane as a hernia. The broader issues around why i neglected to go sooner to the doctor are both...to me...oddly clear and yet at the same time slightly mystifying...and have as much to do with my personal psychology as anything else. But that is for another blog. The other thing is that having established what it was not i now have to deal with the offending thing that it is....an op could be less than straightforward and will require time off and recovery time...in my small business that presents its own particular problems...but we will take that as it comes. The diagnosis has also motivated me to lose some weight and try to get fitter...so far i have adjusted my diet a bit (drinking a seperate liter of water a day is a challenge) but getting out even to walk is not that simple as the hernia is making its presence felt somewhat. I also have a few other issues that may need attention....but i can only cope with so much at once. Anyway that's enough body horror for now